


somebody catch my breath (i'm a goner)

by orphan_account



Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Depression, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Panic Attacks, Psychological Trauma, Self-Destruction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-19 18:35:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8220848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Newt’s breath catches, and horrible flashbacks begin to fill his hazy mind. He already had himself to worry about, his mental state wasn’t okay like he lived it up to be, he was still lost and hopeless, and having more things to worry about (Thomas, Minho, everyone else, escaping, freedom) really beat him down. It was impossible to live as free as Newt wanted to when he had double faces; his happy exterior, and his broken, crumbling interior. Newt wasn’t a strong second leader – he was weak and beaten down.Inspired by the song Goner by twenty one pilots.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't read the maze runner books in over two years, excuse me if I get anything wrong.
> 
> COPYRIGHT ® TC  
> DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE! EVEN AFTER IT'S BEEN ORPHANED, DO NOT REPOST ELSEWHERE. PLEASE CONTACT ME AT MY TWITTER BOYJEONGCHEOL IF YOU SEE THIS POSTED ON ANY OTHER SITES.

Newt sits up against a tree, the rough bark digging into the sensitive skin on his back. He watches as the sky changes from an azure daytime color to a deep blue, the Gladers lighting torches and filing around the campsite for the night. Thomas has yet to return from the Maze and Newt should know by now to not worry – Thomas always makes it back right before the doors close. Except that time Thomas was trapped in the Maze, but in all honesty, it was his own fault, but Newt couldn’t help feel like it was his fault. He potentially led his friend into suicide; Newt didn’t sleep at all that night.

 

Newt’s breath catches, and horrible flashbacks begin to fill his hazy mind. He already had himself to worry about, his mental state wasn’t okay like he lived it up to be, he was still lost and hopeless, and having more things to worry about (Thomas, Minho, everyone else, escaping, freedom) really beat him down. It was impossible to live as free as Newt wanted to when he had double faces; his happy exterior, and his broken, crumbling interior. Newt wasn’t a strong second leader – he was weak and beaten down.

 

The screeching of the large concrete doors on each wall was the only thing Newt heard but there was only one thing on his mind: Thomas. Thomas wasn’t back yet, and the doors were closing. Newt shut his eyes, chest burning, as he slipped away into the sound of the heavy concrete scraping against each other. Newt’s mind is hazy and he feels like he’s free falling, his mind replaying the memories of Thomas sitting next to him near a tree one night, a comforting hand places on his trembling shoulders. Thomas has seen Newt as his weak points, and now the ghost of Thomas haunts him behind his eyelids.

 

When Thomas first saw Newt in a state, he was perplexed; he didn’t think the blonde boy who seemed so happy and cheerful was so lost and double sided. It hurt Thomas to see his friend in so much misery, and Newt remembered begging Thomas to help him, to help him regain full control of his mind to take out his inner demons. Newt admitted defeat by begging for help, but sometimes too much was just too much; Newt was a lost, broken man who tried to kill himself and was now left with that permanent reminder (his limp), of course he needed help.

 

The screeching stopped, and Newt couldn’t hear or see anything but complete and utter darkness. Everything was silent. Newt felt a part of his soul lift as the sudden urge to scream took over him. _Don’t let me be gone_.

 

In a fast blur, there were a lot of hands tugging Newt, touching him, and loud whispers and shouts. Newt couldn’t comprehend anything, his heart was racing and his breathing; he felt like there was something blocking his esophagus, preventing him from breathing at all. Newt could feel he was no longer leaning against the rough tree, but was now lying on an uncomfortable bed. He briefly wondered how long he’s been out or how fast he’s been taken to somewhere safe. “ _Newt! You’re okay, please, please, okay, breathe_ ,” Newt’s eyes hazily slipped open at the familiar voice, and he saw the dark night sky and pale skin and jet black hair. Thomas.


End file.
